DENY ONE, DENY THE OTHER
If you want to deny the problem, by necessity you must deny the solution. Resolving a problem whose existence is rejected creates a split in the crust of collusion. Oftentimes, the convolution and reconvolution of addiction causes a bloated roiling mass that rolls through the streets of sanity. How can a wedge be cut in a creature so dense? How can I work on piecing together remedies when I am readily assured by fellow sufferers there is NO DIS-EASE? Can I trust my personal depletions? Can I employ faith to a resolution when faith is utilized to fortify the contagion I’m told doesn’t exist? But if not faith, what?
Count out all the buttons in your box.
I have lived life like one long fire drill.
Is there smoke? Not always, but I fear flames.
The alarm in my head is with me always
and I walk from my life single file and silent.
I don’t move on, this is only a drill,
‘I don’t want to take drastic action, this will pass,’
is my constant thought,
though, I can not remember a time without the buzz.
I have stood outside my life so long
practicing in case of an emergency
that there is no life to protect.
I have been conscientious to the point
of being consumed by caution.
Balance requires risk.
I must be brave enough to have it all.
You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault