Death Practice

September 29





“Why do you practice death like it were a skill?  Do you fear you lack ability?  Or, because it’s your goal, have you made it your hobby?”

Beleaguered by the questions of my sponsor I search quickly for some believable response.  “I confused calm with death and thought I was practicing the former…..Death came for a holiday, how could I refuse it?…..It’s a test drive, if I like it I can keep it.”  My sponsor doesn’t think I’m funny.

“Check your motives, wants and desires.  Make sure death is what you really want, that it’s not just your fallback position because you fear life.  Don’t get me wrong, I hope death is a good thing, but why try to chew tomorrow’s food when your plate is full of today?



Ride change.






The Hurt carry on the tradition,

would never think to give it up,

don’t even know there is that option,

strap on their weapons without a second thought.


How can there be a second thought

when there never was a first.

Hurt is a reflex

and it moves its way through the world

like dominoes tumbling;


Everything’s knocked down

before you ever saw it standing.

So, what’s the use anyway?

So, I fall down and in that action push you forward

and we are all together in the mud.


But it is so hard to recognize anyone in the mud,

including myself and especially you.

If I hurt you that makes it hard for me to see

anything about you except my wish for your departure,


Which I subconsciously hope will take away the guilt

I can’t afford to feel.

If I make it out of the mud I can’t afford anything,

but if I don’t pay up I’ll be in new mud soon,


So I must break tradition

and the first step toward that is seeing it

and the second is calling it by its name.




You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault


About Sherrie Theriault

Sherrie Theriault, writer and outsider artist lives in northwest New Jersey where she writes villain-free fiction for children and young adults, creates coloring books for all ages, writes daily inspiration books for the recovery community and has other works of collected poetry; also adult fiction. Books available on include the following: Cala Mae The Deep Dark Day In The Congenial Chronicles The Holland’s Adventure Fill Me In Fill Me In, Too Filled In Sober on the Way to Sane More Sober on the Way to Sane Lines from My Life More Lines from My Life On-Liners to Live By My Sponsor Said… Elissa: Queen of Carthage Was Love Lost Order of Protection The Story Precedes the Question Can You See? What the Birdies Told Me about You What the Birdies Told Me about You Coloring book The Enchanting Dog Sherrie’s books are available at Blue Stockings, Manhattan, NY, The Clinton Book Shoppe, Clinton, New Jersey, Giovanni’s Room, Philadelphia, PA, Easy Does It in Long Beach, CA and The Latest Thing in Costa Mesa, Ca. You can find Sherrie’s art work at Hang-Ups Gallery in Allentown, PA or online at: Please feel free to contact her there if you have any questions.
This entry was posted in 12 step recovery, Affirmation, Alcoholics Anonymous, Death, Hope, Humor, Poetry, Sponsorship, Wisdom and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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