DO NOT BE A FRAUD
“Fake it ‘til you make it” is like saying “keep drinking ‘til you get sober,” complains my sponsor.
“But what about the things I can’t do yet?” I ask.
“You work on them; that’s all. You work. You adjust your attitude, practice the steps, carry your behind to meetings and talk with me and the other people in your network.”
“Yeah, that sounds like a breeze.”
“Easier than staying sober while lying. In this program we try to stay in the moment and be honest. Pretending to feel differently than you do at any given time defeats your ability to be present and makes it hard for people to trust you.”
“But it’s so awkward,” I grumble.
“Which is why we of the alcoholic persuasion try to find short cuts, but don’t get sucked into them. Tell the truth and do the hard work of sobriety, and stay away from the persons who try to sell you a softer way.”
Let people give advice to you, never take it from them.
Reason falls through,
where it lands is a place of unknown
seascape and unrelenting tides.
The roar in my ears furthers the disorienting effect of relocation.
At first it seems easier to let go of reason
but when I descend into madness I scramble for purchase;
looking for sanity like a cleft in a cliff.
Loss of skin and blood is nothing to compare to the loss of my mind.
I believe I could be more easily separated from a limb or two
than to lose rein on my brain.
Reason falls through;
I must follow even though the terrain is arduous
and my heart is sometimes faint,
for without reason there is no reason
and without reason there is no life.
You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault