Getting my feelings back was like a package delivered—not a letter bomb, more like live squid or bait of some kind. It was something to catch me out there. I think overcoming the shock was more or less the small part, though it seemed to loom at the time. The squirming, the writhing of my soul was like a pregnancy following a bad dream. I wondered how this became a part of me. I squandered my days hoping it would leave quietly some night soon. Like all difficult relationships, I attempted to hold my breath through it. Failing this, I tried to offer my feelings a guest wing in my heart and a never-ending supply of tea and cookies. When the reality of life with feelings planted itself firmly in me, I let out my breath, stopped the hostess act and endeavored to roll with it. This worked well. I have since invested in a wet- suit and fins. The squid are much easier to live with when I meet them on their turf.
Sponge off what life flings at you.
Yes, Virginia there is a solution
Suspended in the colloid of sobriety
the overly large molecule, which is me,
finds a fix I couldn’t imagine.
I can get better, I do get better,
I have a set of values to substitute into the old equations.
I now live in a mixture where there is one thing in common
and all the rest are variants which ordinarily don’t mix.
The scientific method is entry to homogenous living;
a concept that never made it to the table
in my days as a rogue element.
And with all this on board,
the thing I love the best is that it grows;
what I can do and how I can do it
is an ever widening frame of reference,
Even things which were once outside of my view
are now possible.
I am grateful that there is a solution
I am amazed that it is the solution to everything.
You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault