Wanting

March 1

 

 

WANTING

 

“Wanting to be alive is not as important as wanting to do right,” said my sponsor.

“I don’t want to be here,” I half blurted, half sobbed.

“I know,” came the reply.  “Many of us come in not wanting to live.”

“But sobriety is about living.”

“Yes, and you want to be sober,” said my sponsor.

“But I don’t want to live.”

“This moment.  This moment you don’t want to live but you still want to be sober.  You still want to do right.”

“Yes.”

“And that is what you’ll do.  You’ll pick up the tools as you have done so often and you will try everything suggested.  You’ll see how you feel tomorrow.”

“What if it doesn’t go away?”

“You’ll keep it up and see how you feel the next day.”

“What if I never feel better?”

“Ah, well.  When have you ever had anything that dependable?”

 

 

Don’t force joy to simmer let it boil over.

*

 

 

 

Van and I

(Happy cleaning windows)

When the fog clears and I still can’t see,

I check my optics and wash my windows.

The mundane upkeep hones my pursuit.

After the weather and housekeeping concerns

are managed, eye exercises are next on the agenda.

I have to strengthen my equipment,

stay fit or fall prey to vagaries

of nearsighted limits or farsighted failings.

Myopia is an ever present danger

I must guard against as well.

A fixed focus is a death trap.

I must learn to track a moving target

while I wend onward.

Nothing in life is stationary;

concentration and a decent line of sight

are priceless rudiments.

Continual practice with the tools and tactics

build my confidence and sharpen wit.

Burdens are lightened

when I see my goal in stark relief;

I can chart my path and make my way.

Sobriety means if I can see it I can believe it,

so I best go get the Windex.

 

 

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

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About Sherrie Theriault

Sherrie Theriault, writer and outsider artist lives in northwest New Jersey where she writes villain-free fiction for children and young adults, creates coloring books for all ages, writes daily inspiration books for the recovery community and has other works of collected poetry; also adult fiction. Books available on Amazon.com include the following: Cala Mae The Deep Dark Day In The Congenial Chronicles The Holland’s Adventure Fill Me In Fill Me In, Too Filled In Sober on the Way to Sane More Sober on the Way to Sane Lines from My Life More Lines from My Life On-Liners to Live By My Sponsor Said… Elissa: Queen of Carthage Was Love Lost Order of Protection The Story Precedes the Question Can You See? What the Birdies Told Me about You What the Birdies Told Me about You Coloring book The Enchanting Dog Sherrie’s books are available at Blue Stockings, Manhattan, NY, The Clinton Book Shoppe, Clinton, New Jersey, Giovanni’s Room, Philadelphia, PA, Easy Does It in Long Beach, CA and The Latest Thing in Costa Mesa, Ca. You can find Sherrie’s art work at Hang-Ups Gallery in Allentown, PA or online at: SerendipitousGallery.com Please feel free to contact her there if you have any questions.
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