The Deals I’ve Made

February 16







Because they are deals and not resentments or secrets, these circular schemes did not come out in my fourth step.  They didn’t come out in the wash; they come out whenever they are broken.  If the deal is don’t eat pickled herring and you won’t have to remember X, the deal will get broken when pickled herring is served to me at some social gathering.  As I get healthier, the breaks connect ever more deeply.  What in early sobriety would have given me unexplained discomfort now gives me full-blown flashbacks.  And I watch the deal unravel… you weren’t supposed to eat this because this is what was on the plate when… but now that it’s on the plate here, now you have to face this ugly roiling mess.  The deals saved my life, but unless they are handled with care and honesty, they can cost me the life I have now.  I must choose a safe person and place to share these broken shards, living alone with this will not work and making it public fodder is a set up as well.  In every one of these deals there is a back door to a drink and therefore We have to go out the front door together.




Pick three color words and use them all day.






The Long Dark Ride

Are fear and ignorance one thing

that looks like itself

or terrifying twins who feed one another?

Can they be separated

and if they can will it kill them?

And if they die

what will spring from their remains?

Will it be better or worse?

Can I tell what better is?

Should I tell if it turns out to be worse?

Is there ever an end to either fear or ignorance?

If there is, how deep is that well

and will I survive a trip to the bottom?

Do you know and do you care?

Will you go with me if I find the way?

Will you take me if you find it first?




You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault


About Sherrie Theriault

Sherrie Theriault, writer and outsider artist lives in northwest New Jersey where she writes villain-free fiction for children and young adults, creates coloring books for all ages, writes daily inspiration books for the recovery community and has other works of collected poetry; also adult fiction. Books available on include the following: Cala Mae The Deep Dark Day In The Congenial Chronicles The Holland’s Adventure Fill Me In Fill Me In, Too Filled In Sober on the Way to Sane More Sober on the Way to Sane Lines from My Life More Lines from My Life On-Liners to Live By My Sponsor Said… Elissa: Queen of Carthage Was Love Lost Order of Protection The Story Precedes the Question Can You See? What the Birdies Told Me about You What the Birdies Told Me about You Coloring book The Enchanting Dog Sherrie’s books are available at Blue Stockings, Manhattan, NY, The Clinton Book Shoppe, Clinton, New Jersey, Giovanni’s Room, Philadelphia, PA, Easy Does It in Long Beach, CA and The Latest Thing in Costa Mesa, Ca. You can find Sherrie’s art work at Hang-Ups Gallery in Allentown, PA or online at: Please feel free to contact her there if you have any questions.
This entry was posted in 12 step recovery, abuse, Alcoholics Anonymous, Fear, Humor, ignorance, Long Dark Ride, Poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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