Not My Best Friend
No matter how tightly I hug a lump of coal I will not prevail in turning it into a diamond. Some days I accept this better than others. My desire may affect the coal, but this affect is not diamond producing; though it is stress producing. I know it stresses me and chills me to the bone. I had thought of coal as warming, but the disparate love of coal proves to be anything but. I have pinned my hopes on what this lump had the potential to become rather than acceptance of what it is and now I see I must light my own fire and know the coal is not mine.
Close the window on harsh winds
AND THIS IS FOR WHAT?
I smiled down on God and said—-
“This is pretty and what is it for?”
“Oh, that’s your life.
It is a surprisingly useful thing to have.”
My Higher Power, like my sponsor
Thinks she’s funny but she is not.
“What am I supposed to do with it?”
“Who do you think I am, your Mother,
Your Grandpa Joe, your guidance counselor?
I put all the possibilities in you,
Then I let the wind blow.
What would be the fun of coming here
If I gave it to you all mapped out?
Did it occur to you the reason people say–
You are right where you are suppose to be
Is because you did the things
That brought you here, not me.
And if you don’t like it here
You are the one who needs the motivation
To change it.”
“Take my life——Please!”
“You are such a comedian!”
“No that’s your department.
Could you stop tending your garden
For five minutes and give me your attention?”
“I don’t need to give you that kind of attention
You bloom on your own.”
You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault