I have numbered all the blocks in my ancestral walls. This has enabled me to recreate them stone by stone everywhere I go. It all fits to create the tomb I now have to learn to leave. I must change the equation and reorder the numbers allowing these rocks to be recycled and find a wonderful useful life as a stairway out of this pit of despair. What was once an edifice to lives unlived is now able to facilitate elevation, a restoration of a level playing field. It was not wrong for me to catalog the stones and there was no way for me to leave them behind, but nothing matches the satisfaction of using them to build a life, except for the ability to live in it.
Take a look at yourself from a distance
THE SEDUCTION OF SOBRIETY
I was seduced away from my duties
As an alcoholic by the promise of sobriety,
Allegiance to my disease was sidelined.
Alluring stability and beguiling integrity
Curried favor with my desperate heart,
Pulling me from the arranged marriage of addiction.
How could I cling to the corpse of dependence
When sanity shimmered just out of reach,
Then not out of reach but within my grasp.
I couldn’t resist the golden flicker of life.
I had been bound to death
Unable to see an alternative.
My loyalty to loss and grief slipped from me
And I limped into the daylight,
Like the widow of the night.
I have been lured to my senses
By a love like no other,
The love of life.
You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault