Let God Do What?

July 11

 

Let God Do What?

 

 

I hesitate to let go to G-d because I fear that G-d doesn’t like me, or likes me now, but doesn’t like me all the time.  I think I got this belief from being the only child of parents who don’t like children.  It never mattered how good I was, how smart or thoughtful, well informed, helpful, I always ended up being treated like I was a burden, someone to be endured.  If only I was likeable, I would think to myself and try recreating me to become….what?  Finally I settled on indispensable, if I could make myself necessary, then my life would be okay. People would need me therefore they would want me.  What I discovered is that people who can’t live without me end up resenting me.  By the time I was so important to others I was no longer important to me, so I didn’t need G-d’s help because I didn’t need anything, I didn’t exist.  Over time what I have settled on are a few truths: People who don’t like kids shouldn’t have them.  And I need G-d’s help to learn how to want to be here on this planet since I was not brought to earth by people who wanted me.

 

 

 

Title your dreams

*

 

SYMPTOMATIC BOUQUET

My bouquet of symptoms took root in alcoholism

I displayed these blossoms to few.

I thought I could keep these problem posies to myself.

No need to worry

Everyone has a bit of manure in their lives.

Mine hardly seem strange.

Planted in addiction things grew in a dramatic way

Pruning became unworkable,

Drastic measures were required.

Uprooted and exposed these virulent stalks

Created the need for help from better gardeners than I.

Thinned and repotted these character traits

Have fruited many a lovely harvest.

None of which could have happened

Had I been left in the family plot.

 

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About Sherrie Theriault

Sherrie Theriault, writer and outsider artist lives in northwest New Jersey where she writes villain-free fiction for children and young adults, creates coloring books for all ages, writes daily inspiration books for the recovery community and has other works of collected poetry; also adult fiction. Books available on Amazon.com include the following: Cala Mae The Deep Dark Day In The Congenial Chronicles The Holland’s Adventure Fill Me In Fill Me In, Too Filled In Sober on the Way to Sane More Sober on the Way to Sane Lines from My Life More Lines from My Life On-Liners to Live By My Sponsor Said… Elissa: Queen of Carthage Was Love Lost Order of Protection The Story Precedes the Question Can You See? What the Birdies Told Me about You What the Birdies Told Me about You Coloring book The Enchanting Dog Sherrie’s books are available at Blue Stockings, Manhattan, NY, The Clinton Book Shoppe, Clinton, New Jersey, Giovanni’s Room, Philadelphia, PA, Easy Does It in Long Beach, CA and The Latest Thing in Costa Mesa, Ca. You can find Sherrie’s art work at Hang-Ups Gallery in Allentown, PA or online at: SerendipitousGallery.com Please feel free to contact her there if you have any questions.
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