When I rise up and when I lay down

June 29

 

 

 

When I rise up and when I lay down

 

 

 

In order to be happy with you I have to learn to be happy without you.  I gasp at the pain of it and desperately wish that the above statement were not true, but alas, you are gone in a way that I can never reclaim you and to hold on to what of you is still tentatively available I must release my frightened grasp.  A wisp of smoke is not the bonfire of our past, but it is what remains and I breathe it in as best I can.  Immediately I realize I am holding on again.  I breathe you out, let you go.  I want to run screaming, throwing you from my bonds, yet another of my attempts at control.  So, now it’s time to pray.  Not a prayer to get my way, not a prayer to make you stay, not a prayer to make you gone, just a prayer to live on my own.  G-d help me please to live my life, please guide me away from strife.  I am lost and can’t find my way, Father, hold me til the light of day.

 

 

 

 

 

Putty the cracks in your hopes

 

*

 

SHIMMER

The water ruffles over metallic sheen

Lap after lap screen the view

And still the gilt reflection shines in my eyes.

Hypnotic, the undulance pulls me near

I stand on the edge, gaze then gawk

I follow the underwater movement and iridescent tremolo

I forget place and time, I lose sight of the fact

Gold isn’t the only thing that shimmers

Sometimes that glint is just a fish

.

Life is full of fins and fantasy

My sponsor suggests–I stop looking for my life

In a wishing well.

 

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About Sherrie Theriault

Sherrie Theriault, writer and outsider artist lives in northwest New Jersey where she writes villain-free fiction for children and young adults, creates coloring books for all ages, writes daily inspiration books for the recovery community and has other works of collected poetry; also adult fiction. Books available on Amazon.com include the following: Cala Mae The Deep Dark Day In The Congenial Chronicles The Holland’s Adventure Fill Me In Fill Me In, Too Filled In Sober on the Way to Sane More Sober on the Way to Sane Lines from My Life More Lines from My Life On-Liners to Live By My Sponsor Said… Elissa: Queen of Carthage Was Love Lost Order of Protection The Story Precedes the Question Can You See? What the Birdies Told Me about You What the Birdies Told Me about You Coloring book The Enchanting Dog Sherrie’s books are available at Blue Stockings, Manhattan, NY, The Clinton Book Shoppe, Clinton, New Jersey, Giovanni’s Room, Philadelphia, PA, Easy Does It in Long Beach, CA and The Latest Thing in Costa Mesa, Ca. You can find Sherrie’s art work at Hang-Ups Gallery in Allentown, PA or online at: SerendipitousGallery.com Please feel free to contact her there if you have any questions.
This entry was posted in 12 step recovery, Alcoholics Anonymous, goldfish, good girl, Hope, Humor, Poetry, Sponsorship, Wisdom, Wishes, wishing wells and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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