Discussions with my Disease
“You’re not the girl I used to know.”
“Not the girl you used to love is what you mean?”
“You’re different is all I mean to say.”
“The rest you leave there to rot, unsaid?”
“Something has happened to you.”
“Is it something that you do not like?”
“I don’t know who you are anymore.”
“Or is it that you never knew?”
“One false move could break us up.”
“All your moves are false why will one more cause such change?”
Side with the tide
Why are you wearing that hat and waving
That star studded stick, I ask my sponsor?
Isn’t this what you want, a magic wand, she replied?
Whatever are you talking about?
I don’t want a wizard.
You thought walking into your first meeting would
Poof—make you all better,
When that didn’t work, you held your breathe for 90 days.
When that also proved a disappointment
You let the air out of your blue face
And started the white knuckle routine for a year.
At the end of twelve months, you released your arthritic grip
And started scheming for a new sponsor
But the new wicked witch sent you scurrying back to me.
Then it was a relationship with the undying love
That would break the spell you are under.
Now tell me again,
How you don’t want me to use this magic wand on you?
Said my sponsor with aplomb.
I guess my behavior gave me away,
Go ahead say your incantation.
I closed my eyes and waited for her words.
Show up and do the work
Keep your mind open, she said
As she waved the cudgel.
That’s it———-I asked,
Well yes– but I have to come back every day