Suit up, Show up
I stand naked, paralyzed, unable to reach my intended destination or any destination at all. Goose flesh is no real motivation and I am reluctant to use the prod having only produced resistance and reversals with past applications of this weapon. Entreatment might work if only I could find the right one; then again anything might work if it were a fit. Covering my all-together is an action; taken judiciously it sometimes is all the arrival I can manage, taken disingenuously it precludes the chance for any further forward motion and may create set back or retreat. I should not attempt to hide fear with wardrobe though I can try to warm it. Façade building is best done with a bottle in tow
reality is best faced with a sponsor by my side.
Acknowledge pain, acknowledge joy
Cold and Despondent
Nothing comforts me like the bear of early sobriety
Bought on a day I thought I would shake apart
This fuzzy old guy has been a display item,
For many years now,
Tucked to the corner with the lace edged pillows and folded shawls.
Jittery and Sleepless
It’s easy to panic.
I turn and see the amber eyes waiting for my embrace
His body clothed in a hand knit child’s sweater made by a friend
The warmth of this snuggle is more than comfort
It is also the acceptance of loss.
Quelling the dramatic highs and lows of the beginning cost many things
And the depth of this is not lost in the moment.
Alone in my bed the passageways to the future appear to me
I must rest and then walk on
I cannot stall or simper, plain work is before me
And simple old bears a consolation.