Black and Blue Prints

February 15

 

Black and Blue Prints

 

 

 

Building hell from plans I found in the attic; furnishing it with what was left in the basement didn’t make a life but it did keep me occupied.  Activity insulates me from living; camouflaging the windswept landscape I claw across turning my face from the oasis believing I have perfected a mirage.  I have battered my hope and tied her in the corner the corner which I built from the blue prints I used to turn my life black

 

 

Turn up in the best places, turn up when needed, turn up the corners of your mouth

 

*

 

THE DEALS I’VE MADE

Because they are deals and not resentments or secrets
These circular schemes did not come out in my fourth step.
They didn’t come out in the wash.
They come out whenever they are broken.

If the deal is-Don’t eat pickled herring
And you won’t remember X
The deal will be broken when pickled herring
Is served to me at some social gathering.

As I get healthier, the breaks connect evermore deeply.
What in early sobriety would have given me unexplained discomfort
Now gives me full-blown flashbacks
And I watch the deal unravel.

I wasn’t supposed to eat this
Because this was on my plate——-When
But now that it’s on the plate here—-Now
I have to face this ugly roiling mess.

The deals saved my life
But unless they are handled with care and honesty
They can cost me the life I have now.

I must choose a safe person and place
To share these broken shards with.
Living alone with this will not work
And making it public fodder is a setup as well.

In every one of these deals
There is a back door to a drink
And therefore WE have to go out the front door together.

 

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About Sherrie Theriault

Sherrie Theriault, writer and outsider artist lives in northwest New Jersey where she writes villain-free fiction for children and young adults, creates coloring books for all ages, writes daily inspiration books for the recovery community and has other works of collected poetry; also adult fiction. Books available on Amazon.com include the following: Cala Mae The Deep Dark Day In The Congenial Chronicles The Holland’s Adventure Fill Me In Fill Me In, Too Filled In Sober on the Way to Sane More Sober on the Way to Sane Lines from My Life More Lines from My Life On-Liners to Live By My Sponsor Said… Elissa: Queen of Carthage Was Love Lost Order of Protection The Story Precedes the Question Can You See? What the Birdies Told Me about You What the Birdies Told Me about You Coloring book The Enchanting Dog Sherrie’s books are available at Blue Stockings, Manhattan, NY, The Clinton Book Shoppe, Clinton, New Jersey, Giovanni’s Room, Philadelphia, PA, Easy Does It in Long Beach, CA and The Latest Thing in Costa Mesa, Ca. You can find Sherrie’s art work at Hang-Ups Gallery in Allentown, PA or online at: SerendipitousGallery.com Please feel free to contact her there if you have any questions.
This entry was posted in Affirmation, Black and Blue Prints, Hope, Poetry, Wisdom and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Black and Blue Prints

  1. Genuine personal growth is a real minefield. May you find someone safe with whom to share that journey.

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