There are only 23 more days left till my nervous break down

December 2

 

There are only 23 more shopping days left till my nervous break down

 

 

Shoppers beware: I have a careful plan!  I can juggle these thirty things, keep these twenty people happy, dig around in the dirt at these three excavation sites and hold on to my sanity for twenty-three more days.

My sponsor says having a plan like that means I’m already crazy.  My sponsor says I don’t have to please anyone but myself, my Higher Power and her.  That can’t be right.  What is the point of sobriety if I can’t do it all?

She says I don’t even have to please her or myself.  What does that mean?  How can I tell if I’m pleasing my Higher Power?

She says, “Shut up and you’ll find out.” Great!  What a plan.  I like my countdown better.  Of course I do, it’s mine.  My countdown, my life, mine, mine, mine.

Maybe my sponsor is not all wrong.  OK, quiet……da,da,da…..da,da.  OK, quiet for real.  Hmmm.  I don’t, don’t know.  This isn’t working.  I can’t do this.  Why would I need to stop being me in order to get better?

“Who are you?” she asks.  She thinks she’s so smart.  I’m the one in the middle.  She says the eye of the storm is empty and I need to get a life of my own.

 

Endurance lets you live in the house you built.

*

 

Anti-Forfeit Activity

 

 

I don’t want to write

bad, forced, poor, weak, care-worn poems,

but I won’t write any good ones if I don’t lift this pen.

 

The embarrassment I might feel for lackluster lines

is far less than the shame of empty notebooks.

I don’t always like what flows when I open the gates,

but I am sure glad the current is live and so am I.

 

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About Sherrie Theriault

Sherrie Theriault, writer and outsider artist lives in northwest New Jersey where she writes villain-free fiction for children and young adults, creates coloring books for all ages, writes daily inspiration books for the recovery community and has other works of collected poetry; also adult fiction. Books available on Amazon.com include the following: Cala Mae The Deep Dark Day In The Congenial Chronicles The Holland’s Adventure Fill Me In Fill Me In, Too Filled In Sober on the Way to Sane More Sober on the Way to Sane Lines from My Life More Lines from My Life On-Liners to Live By My Sponsor Said… Elissa: Queen of Carthage Was Love Lost Order of Protection The Story Precedes the Question Can You See? What the Birdies Told Me about You What the Birdies Told Me about You Coloring book The Enchanting Dog Sherrie’s books are available at Blue Stockings, Manhattan, NY, The Clinton Book Shoppe, Clinton, New Jersey, Giovanni’s Room, Philadelphia, PA, Easy Does It in Long Beach, CA and The Latest Thing in Costa Mesa, Ca. You can find Sherrie’s art work at Hang-Ups Gallery in Allentown, PA or online at: SerendipitousGallery.com Please feel free to contact her there if you have any questions.
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