Spontaneous Willingness

November 3





At my local coffee-mart there is a strip of cellophane tape adhered to the mid of a Plexiglas panel built into the barrier where the line forms.  Only at a certain angle can this satin finish tape be seen.  When I first caught a glimpse of it I recognized others had stood there and responded to the sight of this strip by prying bits of the edge with fingernails; I was drawn to do the same.  I could not pull much up, but each time I stand there I work diligently for the moments it takes to make it to the head of the line and be on my way.  Unseen others pull fragments while I’m away.  Over time we will accomplish this task, unbidden, unknown to each other except through this common goal, spontaneous willingness to do what can be done.



Build a boat in your mind and push off.





I called and rambled at my sponsor.

After a significant time had passed,

she stopped me and asked with a tone in her voice,

“and why are you calling me?”

Startled, I replied, “for your advice!”


“Are you sure that’s why you called?

Because I can give you my advice,

but I have given advice to you before

and received only a severe case of the ‘Yeah, Buts’ in return.”


I was about to say ‘yeah, but you don’t understand’

when she cleared her throat to quiet me

and continued what she was saying.


“Seems to me you really want more than a sober ear,

you want magic.

You want me to take your crazy, dramatic thinking,

put it in a hat and pull it out formed, as all your dreams,

and then you want credit for making it happen.


But, Kitten, I have news for you,

I’m not Mr. Roark and this is not FantasyIsland.

This is sobriety and you can’t just have your way.”


This is when I realized I was on a dry drunk.

I don’t know what the first signs are,

but I do know when your sponsor asks,

“and you’re calling me, why?” the jig is up.



About Sherrie Theriault

Sherrie Theriault, writer and outsider artist lives in northwest New Jersey where she writes villain-free fiction for children and young adults, creates coloring books for all ages, writes daily inspiration books for the recovery community and has other works of collected poetry; also adult fiction. Books available on Amazon.com include the following: Cala Mae The Deep Dark Day In The Congenial Chronicles The Holland’s Adventure Fill Me In Fill Me In, Too Filled In Sober on the Way to Sane More Sober on the Way to Sane Lines from My Life More Lines from My Life On-Liners to Live By My Sponsor Said… Elissa: Queen of Carthage Was Love Lost Order of Protection The Story Precedes the Question Can You See? What the Birdies Told Me about You What the Birdies Told Me about You Coloring book The Enchanting Dog Sherrie’s books are available at Blue Stockings, Manhattan, NY, The Clinton Book Shoppe, Clinton, New Jersey, Giovanni’s Room, Philadelphia, PA, Easy Does It in Long Beach, CA and The Latest Thing in Costa Mesa, Ca. You can find Sherrie’s art work at Hang-Ups Gallery in Allentown, PA or online at: SerendipitousGallery.com Please feel free to contact her there if you have any questions.
This entry was posted in 12 step recovery, aa, action, Alcoholics Anonymous, crazy, Dry Drunk, Poetry, Sponsorship, unrealistic expectiations, willingness, Wisdom and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Spontaneous Willingness

  1. Heidi says:

    And you are calling me, why??? Awesome. Go, girl. I’ve got to write a post about this and link to it.

    Our internet is so sporadic that I don’t know how often I can soothe my poet heart here. Thank goodness I have your work in Kindle, too. I just want you to know that we continue to pray for your coast and for NJ in particular. Such devastation… I lived in a flooded city once and ended up leaving that year. Lots of backwash from disasters, isn’t there? Thank you for being here!

    • I think I am beginning to come out of shock, just starting to realize this isn’t going away we will be rebuilding for years. There is a new storm headed up the coast, but it should be milder and more manageable. Sorry for your sporadic internet, that must be frustrating. I thank you for your prayers, we sure need them. Big hugs, Sherrie

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