What is Past

October 5

 

WHAT IS PAST

 

 

The past cannot hold me in a loving embrace.  I run too often looking for affection and recognition in things long dead and purportedly buried.  I return to the ghoulish obsession of digging up old hates and sorrows, longing for support and finding only the cause of the ulcers in my soul.  I wallpaper the crumbling facade not wanting to cover it up but to hold it together, trying to unify something, which is totally shattered.  When I view it with a sober eye, the past is nothing but a slideshow under a strobe light.  The pulse triggers the impulsive belief that it was all real when, in truth, it was the lie I survived.  No life existed in the past and only now is there air to breathe.  The past is all vacuum and I don’t need to be sucked away.

 

 

Take an enemy’s inventory and don’t give it back.

 

 

*

MCBuddLake

Barefoot smokers sit downstairs

chatting on cell phones as I wait.

Wait for the Doctor to come and tell me what?

Tell me that I am ill or hail

based on a hammer hit on the knee

and a deep look into my eyes.

I will leave this place hours late

for a life I barely understand

but am grateful to be living.

Like one of the dancing flowers from Fantasia

I am swept downstream,

but an amazing journey even while I wait

in this six by eight room.

 

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About Sherrie Theriault

Sherrie Theriault, writer and outsider artist lives in northwest New Jersey where she writes villain-free fiction for children and young adults, creates coloring books for all ages, writes daily inspiration books for the recovery community and has other works of collected poetry; also adult fiction. Books available on Amazon.com include the following: Cala Mae The Deep Dark Day In The Congenial Chronicles The Holland’s Adventure Fill Me In Fill Me In, Too Filled In Sober on the Way to Sane More Sober on the Way to Sane Lines from My Life More Lines from My Life On-Liners to Live By My Sponsor Said… Elissa: Queen of Carthage Was Love Lost Order of Protection The Story Precedes the Question Can You See? What the Birdies Told Me about You What the Birdies Told Me about You Coloring book The Enchanting Dog Sherrie’s books are available at Blue Stockings, Manhattan, NY, The Clinton Book Shoppe, Clinton, New Jersey, Giovanni’s Room, Philadelphia, PA, Easy Does It in Long Beach, CA and The Latest Thing in Costa Mesa, Ca. You can find Sherrie’s art work at Hang-Ups Gallery in Allentown, PA or online at: SerendipitousGallery.com Please feel free to contact her there if you have any questions.
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One Response to What is Past

  1. Heidi says:

    I’m emailing you. It dug deep!

    Thank you for this post.

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